


tomorrow’s just a mystery (but that’s okay)

by outruntheavalanche



Series: all our bits and precious bobs [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Ambiguous Relationships, Belonging, Community: tfa_kink, Companionship, F/M, Friendship, Gardens & Gardening, Gen, Kissing, More friendship than relationship, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 11:16:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5826460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outruntheavalanche/pseuds/outruntheavalanche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey tries to find her place amongst fighter pilots and Resistance heroes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tomorrow’s just a mystery (but that’s okay)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this](http://nullrefer.com/?http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1841.html?thread=2752049#cmt2752049) prompt at [](http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**tfa_kink**](http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/): **Rare pairs (prob crack pairs), anything. Bring 'em on.**
> 
> **. Phasma/Leia (which has been dubbed Orgasma already by geniuses)**  
>  **. Han/Hux (Solux?)**  
>  **. Lando/Poe ( ~~Poland~~ ~~Landpo~~ idek)**  
>  **. Unrequited Ben/Wedge crush (I can't name smoosh I give up)**  
>  **. Rey/Snap**  
>  **. Finn/Snap**  
>  **. Anyone with Snap really b/c why not?**  
>  **. Luke/Lor San Tekka (the Church of the Force man with the map)**
> 
> I ended up writing a little bit of Rey/Snap Wexley.
> 
> Then I found out Greg Grunberg is almost 50 and had a crisis of conscience. The age gap doesn't come up, but I did the math and Snap is roughly 25 years older than Rey. So. Yeah. Anyway! This is mostly a Rey story. Poor Snap just got dragged along for the ride.
> 
> Title from "A Place In This World," by Taylor Swift.

Finn lay stretched out on a hard metal slab, still as unconscious as he was when she left him three months ago. Rey lingered in the doorway and watched as Kalonia and her fleet of droid assistants fretted over him, checking his vital signs, fussed with his hospital gown. One droid was at the end of his bed, massaging the soles of his feet. 

She was weary and tired—so, so tired—with the grime of her journey and subsequent return deeply embedded in her skin. All Rey wanted to do was peel her skin off and settle down for a long nap. Maybe when she woke, Finn would be awake then. She’d be able to tell him about Master Luke, what it was like training to be a Jedi, all the things they missed out on while she was gone.

Finn didn’t so much as stir. 

Rey leaned against the doorframe and closed her eyes against the sudden, unfamiliar urge she had to cry. She hadn’t cried in years. An older lady she used to scavenge with, who’d taken it upon herself to watch out for Rey and was the closest thing to a friend she had before Finn, told her tears were nothing but a waste of water. When Rey’s only friend was later dragged off by slavers, not a single tear traced a path down her cheek. She thought Mashinta would have been proud of her restraint.

Now, she was not so restrained. Rey shook against the doorway as silent sobs rattled in her chest. Her eyes were hot and itchy, and she tasted the saltiness of her tears on her tongue. They were hot and bitter, like the waters of Ahch-To.

“Doctor, I need—oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there,” an unfamiliar voice rumbled just behind Rey’s shoulder.

She jumped and spun around, muscles tightening in anticipation. A man stared back at her, hands raised in surrender. He wore the orange jumpsuit of a fighter pilot, as well as the motor oil and grime. His fingernails were black, and he had streaks of oil on his forehead. 

“Who are you?” Rey mumbled, wiping hastily at her burning eyes with her sleeve.

“Temmin Wexley,” the man said. “You can call me Snap, if you want. I actually, uh, need to see Doctor Kalonia.”

“She’s busy,” Rey said, crossing her arms over her chest and tucking her hands in the sleeves of her robe.

Snap looked past Rey’s shoulder into Finn’s room. “I see that… Well, I…” He trailed off. “Are you okay? You’re Rey, right? Luke Skywalker’s—”

“Yes, I am,” she interrupted. This man was testing her patience.

“You’re Poe’s friend,” Snap said.

Rey frowned. “I hardly know him.”

“Oh. He said you were a friend of his,” Snap said, shifting his weight from foot to foot in a nervous dance. He dragged a gloved hand through his beard. “I didn’t mean to assume. Poe usually doesn’t joke around about that stuff. I—”

“Wexley, would you stop flirting and get your ass over here?”

Both Snap and Rey turned toward the sound of the voice. A tiny woman in an orange jumpsuit lugged an unconscious Poe Dameron into the medbay. She hauled Poe upright and flipped a black braid over her shoulder.

“Rey, this is Jess. Jess, Rey,” Snap said, waving a hand in Jess’s general direction. He gave Rey what was probably meant to be a reassuring smile. “That’s why I came for the doctor, actually. I mean, Poe was the reason.”

Doctor Kalonia shoved past the two of them and went to Poe’s side. A row of medidroids followed after and immediately began to fuss over the pilots. “What happened?”

“Got shot down,” Jess panted, as a droid relieved her of Poe’s unconscious form and deposited him onto a hovergurney in a boneless heap. “He hit his head on a tree trunk. Snap managed to save our asses, but Poe’s been out ever since.”

Kalonia put a hand over Poe’s forehead. “Take him to the medbay and set him up there. It’s probably just a concussion, but run a scan anyway,” she instructed the droids.

Rey looked after them as they guided Poe into the medbay and lifted him onto an empty bed. 

“He’ll be okay,” Snap told her, touching her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze. Rey tried not to flinch at the unexpected contact, but she must have given herself away because Snap yanked his hand back as if she’d burned him. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve asked. I’m sorry.”

Jess snorted softly behind them. 

“It’s fine,” she told him, rubbing her shoulder where he’d touched her. “I’m just… I’m not used to all this.” Rey gestured to Snap and then Jess. “People. The medbay. Any of it.”

“Stick with us, kid. We’ll show you the ropes.” Jess unzipped her flightsuit, shrugged out of the top half, and tied the sleeves around her waist. She held out a hand. “Snap’s intro left a little to be desired, so. I’m Jessika Pava.”

“Rey.” She looked at Jess’s hand, unsure of what to do. 

Jess laughed, but it was a kind laugh. “It’s okay. You don’t have to—”

“No, I’m good.” Rey grabbed her hand, firmly, and shook. She turned to Snap and offered her hand to him as well. “I guess we’re doing formal introductions now.”

Snap grinned and wrapped both of his big, warm hands around Rey’s. Jess made a dismissive, scoffing noise that Rey tried not to puzzle over too much.

“Nice to meet you.”

“And you as well,” Rey replied.

***

Poe woke a few hours later, groggy and disoriented, but no worse for the wear. His hair was another story; the last time Rey had seen him, before she went scouring the galaxy for Master Luke, Poe’s hair had been impeccably coiffed. Now, one side of it was flat from where he’d been left to rest on the medbay bed, and it was caked in mud and dried blood.

“Where ’m I,” Poe muttered.

“Medbay,” Rey said from the doorway, where she’d been observing both Poe and Finn.

“Finn. Is he…” Poe trailed off.

“No,” Rey said, sighing. “He’s still unconscious.”

Poe settled back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s been three months.” He paused. “When did you get back?”

“Earlier today,” she said, moving into the room and coming to stand by Poe’s bedside. “I met some of your friends. Jessika and Snap?”

“I’m sorry,” Poe rasped, and they both laughed. He lifted a hand, streaked with what Rey assumed was his own blood, and held it up to her.

Rey hardly hesitated before slipping her hand into his and squeezing. “He’ll wake up,” she promised, lowering her head, speaking mostly to their joined hands. “He’ll come back… To us.”

Poe’s fingers tightened around hers, briefly, before sliding out of her grasp. He closed his eyes and Rey left to let him sleep. 

***

Snap Wexley had apparently appointed himself Rey’s personal Resistance base tour guide while Poe was currently indisposed. It wasn’t that she minded; in fact, Rey found she rather enjoyed Snap’s company. It was just so very strange to go from one almost-friend to suddenly having a whole fleet of them eager to show her the ropes. 

She certainly didn’t mind Snap’s company, or Jess’s. Not at all.

“Poe’s due to be discharged from the medcenter,” Snap told her as they navigated their way through the crowded mess. His hand rested lightly on her back, barely any pressure, guiding her. “Clean bill of health.”

“That’s good,” she said, and Snap hummed in agreement.

Rey didn’t bring up Finn. Talking about Finn just made her eyes itch and chest ache. Talking about Finn just made her want to waste all those tears Mashinta told her to hold onto. The prognosis was still good, he was still expected to recover fully, but it was just taking so much time. 

_His body is working overtime_ , Kalonia had told her earlier in the day, when she went by to visit Poe and Finn. _Fighting off infections, working the First Order toxins out of its system, and repairing the damage done. It’s a lot of work, but he’s young, he’s strong. He’ll get through this._

At least Rey had her training with Master Luke to help take her mind off things. And, apparently, she now had Snap.

“If you’d like,” Snap said, “we could take a tour of the gardens later.”

Rey immediately perked, thinking of _endless green_. Flowers. Trees. Plants. All the things she’d been denied on Jakku. She’d kept desert flowers in a vase, but it just wasn’t the same as seeing vibrant plants sprouting from verdant green earth.

“That would be lovely,” Rey said, smiling at Snap.

He ducked his head and smiled at the tops of his boots.

After lunch, Snap took her to the gardens, which really weren't more than a few plots of freshly turned earth. She could see tiny sprouts shooting up from the dirt, their leaves just beginning to unfurl.

“I was expecting something more… _green_ ,” she explained to Snap as she crouched down low and touched one of the curled up leaves.

“They’re just babies. General Organa had the plots installed after Starkiller Base. To give us something to do when we weren’t off flying around and shooting at things, or being shot at,” Snap joked.

Rey turned her face toward the sky and smiled at him. “Do you think the general would let me plant something?”

“I think she’d like that very much,” Snap said, grinning back. 

His smile was warm, kind, almost as kind as Finn’s, and his eyes crinkled like Poe’s. He was someone Rey thought she could trust. She could feel the goodness in him, in his center, radiating out like the rays of a sun, as she had when she met Finn and, later, Poe. 

Snap extended a hand to her and she wrapped her fingers around his, let him help her to her feet. 

“Thank you,” she said, searching his face, his eyes. 

“Uh. I—I could put in a request for you, with the general,” he stuttered, taking a step back, letting her hand slip from his. “For a garden plot. If you want.”

Rey let him pull his hand back. “I’d like that very much.”

The smile returned to his broad face, and his cheeks reddened ever so slightly. “Excellent. Good. That’s great.”

“Let’s head back to the medbay, Snap.” Rey offered her elbow to him and he looked down at it, for just a moment’s hesitation, before linking his elbow with hers.

***

“—whatever you’re doing, you need to put an end it.”

Rey paused in the medbay doorway and clutched the flowerpot to her chest. Kalonia had noticed an increase in Finn’s brain activity and told her he was close to waking up. Rey decided to unearth some of the flowers she’d planted to bring him as a ‘welcome home’ gift.

“I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I don’t like it.”

Rey inched forward, grip tightening around the pot. It was Finn’s gift, but she’d use it as a weapon if she had to.

“Of course you know what I’m getting at.” That sounded like—Poe? He seemed so angry, and it left a sickly feeling rolling and tumbling in Rey’s gut.

“I really don’t, man. I’m just trying to be helpful. A good friend.”

“Jess said she saw you with her at the gardens,” Poe said.

Rey felt the bottom drop out from under her feet. Poe was angry at Snap?

“I took her on a tour of the gardens. So what? Jess is always in other people’s business. She—”

“She’s a kid, Snap. Leave her alone,” Poe said.

Rey frowned; they weren't talking about Jess anymore. She stepped into the room and knocked loudly on the doorframe. Both Snap and Poe jerked to attention, looked at her with mortified expressions on their faces. Poe hastily tugged his shirt down over his head and swept a hand through his unruly hair.

“I’m sorry you heard that,” he said, stalking away from where Snap sat on the end of his hospital bed.

“Jess is wrong,” Rey said, wrapping her arms around the flowerpot.

“Rey,” Snap began, getting to his feet.

Rey powered past him, rounding on Poe, who was yanking on his jacket and trying his hardest to ignore her. “I’m not a kid,” she said. “I can make decisions for myself.”

Poe glanced briefly at Snap, over Rey’s shoulder, before returning his eyes to hers. “Of course you can,” he said, offering her a smile. “I just worry about you, that’s all. With Finn laid up, someone’s got to. Right?”

Rey sighed. “I appreciate it, but you don’t have to.”

“Well,” Poe said, stepping closer and giving her arm a squeeze. “I think you’re just going to have to put up with it a little while longer. I’ll leave you to it.”

Rey turned and watched him walk out of the medbay. Snap lingered in the doorway, watching her with worried eyes. Did he think she was angry with him?

“I’m fine,” she reassured him, smiling. “I’m not angry with you.”

“I didn’t think… I mean, that’s great. That’s awesome.” Snap smiled back, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Uh, how much of that did you hear?”

“Just the part where Jess Pava apparently thinks two friends taking a stroll in the gardens is something to be suspicious of,” Rey quipped, drawing an almost reluctant laugh out of Snap.

Snap swept a hand through his hair and down over his face, into his bushy beard. “I’ll tell her to lay off, if you want.”

“It’s okay.” Rey approached him and reached out, laying a hand on his arm. “Let her talk. It doesn’t bother me. Unless it bothers you.”

Snap looked down at her hand on his arm. “Nah. It doesn’t.”

“Then we’re good.” Rey moved around him for Finn’s room.

Poe was sitting beside his bed, that old, beaten-down jacket of Finn’s resting across his lap. Rey slipped into the room, set the flowerpot on the little table next to Finn’s bedside, and slipped away just as quietly.

***

Rey took Snap to her little garden a few days later, to show him some of the flowers she’d planted. They were already beginning to shoot up from the freshly turned earth, little pale pink buds and green leaves emerging from the dirt. 

“Very impressive,” Snap said, nodding in approval. “Got a green thumb, do you?”

Rey held up her hand and wriggled her thumb in his face. “I don’t know about that, looks kind of plain and pale to me.”

Snap laughed and reached up, tugging her hand down. He kept his fingers around her thumb, grip loose and gentle. “It was a figure of—”

“Speech. I know. We had some of that on that dustball,” she said, offering him a smile so that he knew she didn’t take offense.

“Can’t imagine there were very many green thumbs on Jakku,” he said.

“Not very many flowers or gardens either.” Rey looked down at their hands, their fingers still linked, and thought she should probably let go lest Jess Pava spot them. Or, worse yet, Poe.

She squeezed his hand a little tighter in her own.

Snap cleared his throat. “I, uh. Kriff. I probably shouldn’t be saying this, Pava’ll kick my ass from here back to the Outer Rim territories, but. I like you. You’re… You’re a good person, Rey.”

Rey tilted her head at him and smiled. “So are you, Snap.”

He looked down at the ground and toed at the grass and pebbles underfoot. “I’m… I’m trying. To be a good person, I mean,” he said. 

“Is this about Jess and Poe?” she asked.

“No. I mean, sort of.”

“We’re friends,” Rey said, rubbing the back of his hand reassuringly. “I—I like you too. I like that you took me to see the gardens, and that you held my hand. It wasn’t so long ago that the thought of holding hands with anyone was a strange and foreign concept to me.”

Rey thought of Finn, just beginning to emerge from his protective cocoon of sleep. She wanted to go back to him so that he’d have a familiar face by his side when he woke.

Snap squeezed on her hand and waited for her to continue. 

“You’ve been a good friend to me.”

“I’m glad,” he said.

Rey leaned in, hesitated just for a moment before kissing him on his rough, unshaven cheek. It wasn’t anything like kissing Finn—whose forehead had been smooth and cold—before she left on her quest. Kissing Snap was pleasant, though. She could feel the warmth of his cheek against her lips.

When she pulled back, he looked at her with wide, startled eyes.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“Because. You’ve been so kind. I haven’t known much kindness in my life,” she said.

“I hope you didn’t do that because you thought you owed me or something,” Snap said, gaze darting to her mouth for a moment before meeting her eyes. “I’d wouldn’t—”

Rey smiled at him. “I know,” she said. She didn’t know Snap all that well, honestly, but she _did_ know that. She knew, somehow, that he was a good person, had known from the start. “I’m going to see Finn. Will you come with me?”

That startled look was back in his eyes again. Like he couldn’t believe she would ask him to join her. As if it were some precious gift she was offering. 

“I’d…I’d like that,” he said.

They went to the medbay, hand in hand. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say a thing.

***

Finn was already awake when they got to his room. Poe was at his side, helping him to sit up, a bowl of steaming broth cupped in one of his hands. Rey couldn’t even be disappointed she wasn’t there to greet him. He was finally _awake_.

“Finn!” Rey dropped Snap’s hand and raced to his other side.

“Rey! Now there’s a sight for sore eyes.” Finn looped an arm around her neck and gave her a one-armed squeeze. “Missed you.”

“I missed you too.” She buried her face in his shoulder and hugged him back carefully.

Finn settled back against a mound of pillows and Rey went with him. His hand was big and warm on the middle of her back, and she’d missed him so terribly. The feeling that gnawed at her insides when she thought of Finn, lying in alone the medbay, dissipated like smoke.

Poe set the bowl of soup on the table next to Finn’s bed and wandered over to where Rey had left Snap.

“What’re you doing here, buddy? Thought you were taking a maintenance day,” Poe said, conversationally.

“Went to the gardens,” Snap said. He sounded pained.

Rey looked over at the two of them. Poe was looking at her; Snap was looking over his shoulder, at the bare white wall.

“Huh,” said Poe, clapping Snap on the back. “C’mon, Wexley. Let’s give the kids some privacy.”

“Right. Yeah.” Snap nodded to Rey, just the barely perceptible tip of his chin to her, and then he followed Poe out of the room.

“That was weird,” Finn said against the side of her head.

“What? Why?” Rey sat back a little and smoothed down the front of his gown.

Finn shrugged one shoulder gingerly. He twirled a spoon in his hand. “Poe seemed kind of…off.”

“I think he’s just…being overprotective. That’s all.” Rey smiled at Finn and reached up to rub a hand over his cheek, affectionately. “And how about you? How are you feeling?”

Finn turned his head, grinning at her as she let her hand slip away. “Better now that I’m awake. You know, I had the weirdest dreams. The _weirdest_ one was you and me in X-Wings, getting chased by a giant BB-8. It was exciting, flying around and blasting at things with ion cannons.”

Rey laughed, settled into Finn’s side, and tucked her legs under her body. Finn pulled back a corner of his blanket and she slid under it. 

“Sounds wonderful,” she said.

“I feel like a lousy friend, but I’m still so tired. If I fall asleep on you…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rey said, letting her head drop to his shoulder. “I’ll be here when you wake.”

***

When Rey emerged from Finn’s room a while later, Snap was waiting in the hall, holding a tiny flowerpot in his grimy hands. Rey moved a little closer, on light nimble feet, and saw that it was a small moonflower.

“Hey,” she said.

Snap looked up and smiled at her when he saw it was her. “Hey. I went and picked this from my own garden. Do you think Finn would like it?”

Something tightened in Rey’s chest at that and, oddly, made her eyes ache. She paused, a few feet from where Snap sat with the tiny flowerpot cradled in his hands, and realized there were tears stinging the corners of her eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Snap asked, concerned. He got up and went to her.

“I think so,” she said, blinking rapidly. Rey rubbed hastily at her eyes.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Snap gently set the pot down on the floor, between their feet, and went to embrace her. “Do you need to sit down?”

Rey closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against his chest. The material of his flightsuit was rough against her cheek and it smelled of motor oil and stale sweat, but she didn’t mind it. It actually reminded her a little bit of Jakku, the only place she’d ever called home. When she breathed in, she could have sworn she smelled sand too.

“I’m all right,” she said, sighing deeply. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Rey pulled back and looked up at him, mustered a smile. “Thank you.”

Snap looked back at her with nothing but kindness, a small smile gracing his lips. 

“Anytime, Rey.”

Here was a good man, she thought. A kind man. 

Rey stood on the tips of her toes, let her eyes drift shut, and pressed her mouth gently over his. He was too startled to kiss back, or to push her away. Instead, he stood there, hands curled over her elbows, and let her kiss him.

Rey stepped back and lowered her head, cheeks flushing with shame. Perhaps he hadn’t wanted her to kiss him. Perhaps she should have sought his permission. She knew all about having things taken from her without her permission. Didn’t she?

“I should have asked first,” she said, sounding so small to her own ears.

“It’s fine. It’s…” Snap’s dirty fingers tipped her chin up so that their eyes met. “I like you.”

“I like you too,” she said. They’d had this conversation before.

“And you like Finn,” he added.

“Of course I do. He’s one of my dearest friends,” Rey said.

Snap sighed and laughed softly. “Jess was right, you know. You’re young. You should be kissing someone like Finn, not some old flyboy.” The corner of Snap’s mouth quirked up.

“If Finn wanted me to kiss him, I would,” Rey answered honestly, sliding her hands down Snap’s arms to catch his fingers in hers. “And if Jess wanted me to kiss her too, I’d do it. And if you wanted me to kiss you again, I’d do that too.”

Snap looked at her, his expression shuttering for a moment, a thin line forming between his brows. 

Then, his face opened and he said, “I’d like that.”

“Okay, then. So would I.” Rey leaned in and kissed him again.

This time, Snap kissed her back, one of his hands resting lightly over her cheek. Rey explored his mouth with her own, let her tongue dart from between her lips to run over his bottom lip. 

She hadn’t known much kindness on Jakku, but she’d kissed some people—and aliens—in her day. It was never anything like this. There were usually more teeth involved, sometimes even blood, and a lot more sand. This? This was nice. Safe. Rey felt safe, here. Snap would probably let her kiss him for as long as she liked. 

There was a soft noise behind them and Rey turned, breaking away from Snap to find Finn watching them, eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. Poe was standing behind him, an inscrutable expression on his normally wide open, friendly face.

“Were we interrupting?” Poe asked, lifting his eyebrows.

“Not at all,” Snap said quickly, too quickly to be natural. He bent down, scooped up the pot, and brought it over to Finn. “I picked this out of my garden for you, to put with the other flowers and things people have been sending.”

Finn grinned broadly. “Thanks, man. You’re all right. He’s all right, Poe.” Finn slapped Snap on the chest, took the flowerpot, and hobbled back to the medbay.

Poe lingered behind and looked between Snap and Rey.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” he said, and Rey wasn’t sure which of them he was addressing. Then he went to join Finn in his room.

***

Rey took to bringing potted plants and flowers to Finn’s room to brighten it up for him. She’d cut out paper stars and strung them together in garlands too, and hung them in front of the lone window in his room in the medcenter. 

Finn sat on the end of his bed and watched as Rey stood on a hoverstool and put up a garland of stars and planets.

“You know, you don’t have to do this,” Finn said, from his perch on the bed.

“I know. I thought it might brighten things up a bit while you continue to recover,” she called down to him, as she finished up. Rey jumped down from the hoverstool and examined her handiwork.

“So,” Finn started, and then stopped.

Rey turned and looked at him, as she fiddled with one of the sleeves of her gray robe. “So?”

“What was that with you and the pilot? Wexley?” Finn asked.

Rey turned and looked up at the paper stars and planets she’d fixed over the window. “I don’t know.”

“Do you like him?” Finn asked. He sounded tentative, as if he was worried he might step on an Imperial landmine if he didn’t watch his step.

“I do. He’s a nice man,” Rey said, going over to join Finn on the bed. She clasped her hands between her knees. She knew that wasn’t really what Finn was getting at, but she wasn’t going to press the issue unless he did.

Finn sighed. “Yeah, but that wasn’t what I… You know what? It’s none of my business,” he said, shaking his head. 

Rey reached out and folded one of Finn’s hands in hers. She squeezed it. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Or how I feel about Snap or Poe or Jess or…or you. Or anything, really. All I know is I suddenly have a lot of people who care about me when I’d had next to no one on Jakku. It’s all a little bit overwhelming, but in a good way. I’m just…trying to sort through all of it.”

“Me too,” Finn said, wrapping their joined hands in his free one. “I feel the same way sometimes.”

“Are you—are you jealous? That I kissed him?” Rey asked.

Finn stared at her. “Why would I be jealous?”

“I mean,” Rey stammered, deflecting her gaze to the array of potted plants and flowers on the windowsill. “I don’t know. Maybe it was presumptuous to assume you had feelings for me.”

“No, no,” Finn said quickly, lowering his eyes to their hands. “I…I do like you. Like that. But it wouldn’t be fair, you know? To be jealous.”

Rey tilted her head and considered him. Finn’s wide, guileless eyes betrayed no lies on his part. She could pick up no hints of deception. Only honesty. “Why? Most other people would be.”

“Because I know what it felt like to be alone, to have no one,” Finn said. “And, yeah. Honestly, I’d prefer if it was me you wanted to kiss. But you’re my friend, first. I’ll always want you to be happy.”

“I _am_ happy,” Rey said and, for the second time that day, her eyes stung with tears at somebody else’s kindness. “You’re a good man, Finn.”

Finn drew her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She felt his warm breath against the back of her hand. “I try.”

How lucky I am, she thought, as she kissed him on the forehead where she’d kissed him once before. How lucky I am.

***

Rey went out for an evening stroll and, before she really knew it, her feet were carrying her to the gardens. Her own plot of earth bore more flowers now, and tender, pale green shoots. Rey crouched down and sifted her hands through the dirt, let it run through her fingers as she used to with the sand on Jakku. Whereas the Jakkuvian sand was hot and gritty, this dirt was soft, cool on her fingers. 

“Rey,” someone said behind her, and she got up, wiping her dirty hands off on her trousers.

Snap gave her a little wave. He wore an olive-green tunic and brown pants, and his hair had been brushed off his forehead. His beard was still thick and unruly though, and Rey smiled a little at that.

“Hello,” she said, moving over to greet him with a one-armed hug.

Rey hadn’t noticed when it became easier and easier for her to be physical and affectionate with people, but she wasn't about to complain. 

It wasn’t too hard with Finn, after the initial awkwardness and unexpected hand-grabbing during their flight from Jakku; they’d been drawn together like magnets, and when she did clasp his hand in hers, it had felt _right_. She’d gotten used to Poe’s gregarious hugs, and Jess Pava’s light, flirty squeezes. She’d come to appreciate the unasked-for kindness of Nien Nunb and Karé Kun and Iolo Arana, and Snap.

Snap dropped an arm around her shoulders. He said nothing, so she said nothing in return. It was nice just to stand here and admire her garden with someone she’d grown to like. Someone she’d actually grown to care for.

“On Akiva, where I’m from,” Snap said, “we’ve got these moonflowers. They’re huge. The size of a BB unit, I’d say.” Snap illustrated the shape of the flower in the air with his hand. “I’ll bring one back for you to plant, if you want. Next time I go home. Make everyone else on base jealous.”

Rey laughed. “That would be nice.”

“Good,” he said, squeezing her around the shoulders once before letting her go. “It’s getting a little late. I’ll let you go…?”

Rey stepped back and brushed a few stray tendrils of hair away from her face. “Come with me to see Finn? I haven’t said goodnight yet.”

“All right,” he said.

Snap held his hand out to her. Rey looked at it for a moment before wrapping her hand around his, and they started back together.


End file.
